Monday, December 30, 2013

Danger: Mood Swings Ahead

Lately, I feel like I should wear a sign around my neck: "Danger: Mood Swings Ahead. Proceed With Caution." Luckily, I found such a sign, complete with a sexy woman on a swing! The sign makes them seem almost glamorous. If only.

A swing doesn't begin to describe this pendulum. I can't even keep up with myself. I wish I had a sign to warn myself that they were coming. I scare me. Yesterday, minor issues which typically just annoy me somehow became major problems which led to an explosion. I don't recall stashing any dynamite inside, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I detonated it. And the odor was quite foul.

Patience? What's that? I had none. Tears? I had a lot of those. Decisions? Couldn't make one. Suddenly, the normally minimal lunch choices had become overwhelming. Who was this woman? And what happened to the one who had peace? Just where had that peace gone?

The thing is, I know that this is hormone related, and I don't have a lot of control over it. Yet, I felt just horrible after my brief moments in the circus on the trapeze of moods. I felt ashamed of the way I'd acted and reacted to things. I felt guilty for losing control. And I felt unworthy of God's love, unworthy of things like writing this blog and offering encouragement for others. How dare I? 

See, that's Satan's cue. He watches us from Black Bear Headquarters. He knows when we are at our weakest moment, and he sends his cronies to whisper to us that we are unworthy and unlovable. We sink further into our despair. 

I cried out to God this morning (because the swing was still swinging-I literally cried over spilled milk, or, rather, water). "I don't want to be like this, God. Please, help me. I don't want to lose my peace, yet I already have. How can You love me when I have these mood swings and I'm so horrible?"

His answer was this: "I love you. I love you through the mood swings. I understand them." At this point, I wondered how God could understand mood swings. He is not a woman. But of course, God knows our thoughts, and He continued. "I understand them because I made man and woman and I understand hormones. I made them. I made you and I understand you." 

It occurred to me that God loves us through our moods, our sins, our sufferings, even our turning away from Him. He loves us in the midst of them. He doesn't abandon us in the middle of our rantings, our sin, our shortcomings. It just feels that way because when we lose control, we lose our peace, and when we lose our peace, we lose our connection to Jesus. But He understands us. He made each one of us in our own unique design and he completely "gets" us. And loves us anyway.

Blessings Along the Path,

Video of the Day
Patsy Clairmont-Emotions

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