I've been told that I say things that everyone else only thinks. It's meant to be a compliment (I think); I see myself as transparent, willing to say those things for everyone else's benefit. An example of this is the things I write on this blog. You read it and think, "Huh, I do that too, but I'd never admit it. Thanks, Mare for letting me I'm not alone."
The problem is that I also say things that I am thinking that don't need to be said; things that need to stay in my head. I like to say that I'm an external processor--I think out loud. Before I know it, I've said what I was thinking. Not always a good thing. I tend to babble. Blahblahblahblahblah...I embarrass my children and they tend not to take me seriously unless I'm succinct. When people start to look at me like a dog looks when he doesn't understand, or their eyes glass over, I know I've talked too long. Sometimes I can't even stand it and I wish I could just stop in the middle. If I did, probably no one would even notice. They would only notice quiet.
Unfortunately, I can't seem to stop. I've tried. But I keep forgetting and words just spew out of my mouth much in the same way the dog's dinner finds its way onto the bedroom carpet in the middle of the night (never the floor; always the carpet). I used to get in trouble at jobs because I talked too much and my co-workers couldn't concentrate, or a boss couldn't take my constant chatter to no one but myself.
I wish there was a word catcher, like a spaghetti strainer. Or a net. I could just collect all those stray words that are laying all over the floor or on peoples' heads, and shove them back in my mouth. Oh, that's called eating your words. Hmmm...
Sorry, I'm babbling. See what I mean?
If you're a regular reader, you know I often write about thinking before we speak. I should practice what I preach, huh?
Now that I'm on the "other side of 50", I've decided that there are some things that you just can't change. Like how we process our thoughts. Some people are thinkers; others are spewers. Sometimes, it's just part of our personality. I think that part of me can change, with a little forethought, but part of me is just wired to spew. I just need to be aware, and maybe I can stop saying whatever comes into my head to the guy filling up my gas tank who doesn't even speak English.
Boy, I hope when I stand before God, I can get a grip on this thing. Hopefully, I'll be so in awe, I will be speechless. That will definitely be miraculous!
What is it that you struggle with? My pastor told us one Sunday that he didn't struggle with a certain issue---he was really good at it! Is it an ongoing thing that you wish you could change? Ask God to show you if it's something you truly can change, or if it's part of how you're hardwired. Maybe you're being too hard on yourself. Or maybe there's somewhere in between.
And if you see me running around with a net someday, please don't think I've lost my mind...it's just my words.
Blessings Along the Path,
Song/Video of the Day
Let My Words Be Few (Matt Redman)
Friday, February 7, 2014
I'm a person of creativity. I've always loved to entertain people, and especially, to make them laugh. I don't mind being the guinea pig, the one who is singled out to break the ice. I write what you think but don't want to admit. I'm a word nerd and a grammar geek. I love musical theatre, hiking, and worshipping my Lord, my King-the King of Glory. It's my desire to bring hope and healing to hurting individuals-or perhaps just to provoke thought, to give an encouraging word to get you through the day-through everyday situations and insights into God's Word.