Thursday, April 3, 2014

Half In and Half Out

I recently had a dream that I was traveling on a hiking path in the woods with a friend. She was in front of me pulling someone in a wagon-one of those metal kind of wagon/garden cart you find at a nursery. I was in a wagon behind her, half in and half out of the wagon, the reason being that I was trying to propel myself on the path with my foot. We were going uphill and it was difficult for my friend to pull her wagon and her person, and it was difficult for me to push myself uphill with one foot. 

I have been wondering if this dream had spiritual significance, or if it was just part of a combination of thoughts and circumstances during the day. Because it's stayed with me, I have to think that it did have some sort of spiritual significance. 

Things that move (like a wagon) are usually indicative of our spiritual journey. I would prefer an airplane or a limousine. No, I got a wagon. A Fred Flintstone one at that. I think that the fact that my friend was leading means that she is someone I should look to for guidance; a mentor (and she is). The fact that she was pulling someone in her wagon means that she is serving. Me? Not so much. Maybe I am serving myself? More likely, I think the significance was the fact that I was half in and half out of the wagon. 

I've been dealing with a particular situation that I'm not sure about. I vacillate between yes I do want to do this thing and no it's not right for me. I want to be involved and I don't want the commitment. I want to do it, but I don't like the guidelines. I want to do it my way. Half in and half out.

Is there something in your life that you're half in and half out of? You want to be involved but you don't want to commit? 

Traveling down (or up) the path of our spiritual journey is sometimes exciting, but many times it can be scary or difficult. When we encounter something that causes us to make a choice without knowing what lies ahead, it can be scary. Starting something new can be difficult-an uphill battle. But being half in and half out makes it all the more difficult. And when we're half in and half out, there is no real commitment.

But here's the great thing...in my dream, my friend and I were laughing the whole time! We were having a great time and I remember feeling light-hearted, as if the struggle of pushing myself with one foot wasn't even that difficult. We can enjoy the trek, no matter the difficulty!

However, I know I need to make a choice. And so do you. That's when we need to fix our eyes on Jesus, who will let us know what to do through His Holy Spirit speaking to us, through other people, and circumstances. We do not know what to do but our eyes are on you (2 Chron 20:12). 

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you (Matt 7:7). Ask. Seek. Knock. Let's ask Him, "Should I get out and pull my wagon and see what...or who ends up in it? Or are you asking me to get in the wagon and trust you to pull me to my destination?" Either way, it's a win-win situation.

Blessings Along (the sometimes difficult) Path,
Mary

Song of the Day
Bumping Up and Down in My Little Red Wagon

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