Monday, July 28, 2014

The Best Support

I recently read a line in a book where one character said to another: Sometimes the best support is a retreat. 
I remember when my children were younger and living at home, and one of them (who shall remain nameless) would run off and slam her door when she was angry. I couldn't stand for anyone to be angry at me, even if it was my own child, and I wanted to make it better. So I'd follow. And knock on the door. And through tears of anger or hurt, I'd hear, "GO AWAAAAAAY!" I didn't want to go away. I wanted to make it better. But this particular child needed to be left alone in order for it to be made better. Sometimes the best support is a retreat.

Whether it is anger, anxiety or addiction...sometimes the best support is a retreat.

Sometimes we just have to let it go. Let that person go. Let our ideas go of helping/curing/saving that person out of their personal issues. They may not have slammed the door in our face, but the silent turning away from us can be just as loud, if not louder. A silent scream:  GO AWAAAAAAY!

Yes, that hurts to be told that. But it's important for us to remember that it's really not about us. It's about the other person. That person is hurting, angry, anxious...whatever. If it's an addiction, there are deeper issues. We can't make the other person's issue our own. In order to retreat, we must release. 

There's a trustworthy saying in the "rooms" of Al-Anon, and, I guess, AA..."Let Go and Let God." It is only when we truly let go, release and retreat that God can truly work. We are too often a hindrance. And we can't retreat by holding on. We can only retreat after we release.

Who do you need to release today? Who do you need to show support to by retreating? Don't think of it as giving up. Think of it as giving it to God.

Blessings Along the Path,
Mary

Song of the Day
When I Let Go (Sierra)

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