Friday, October 17, 2014

Overcoming Negativity: Day 16: What's Your Problem?

We've talked about excuses that keep us in negativity. We've explored emotions that lead to negative self-talk.

Today we're going to check our attitude.

Today's Challenge: 
Listen to yourself. And listen to others. 
How much of what comes out of your mouth is directed at finding fault with others and how much builds them up?

Excuses help us to avoid people and responsibilities. 
Emotions keep us focused inward.
Attitudes are about outward negativity. Negativity directed toward others. But they're really all about us...and our dissatisfaction with ourselves, not others.

Attitudes are self-centered, self-serving and self-conscious. Selfish.

We are fooled into thinking otherwise because we're so focused on someone else's behavior and what's wrong with them. Why does it bother us so much?

Because it somehow affects us. And it's usually because we don't approve or don't agree or are  somehow inconvenienced ( goes back inward).

People with a negative attitude
  • find fault with everyone else, but don't take responsibility for their own rotten behavior
  • grumble and complain about everything that doesn't suit them
  • have unspoken expectations and high standards of others
  • lose their patience easily, especially with those who do not fulfill the above unspoken expectations
  • are unpredictable
  • use "always" and "never" 
  • are pessimistic
  • feel entitled
  • are quick to judge others for behavior they deem "wrong"
  • are highly critical
  • have a double standard
  • are quick to point out the flaws in others, while neglecting to see any in themselves
  • label others as "jerk, idiot, a*hole, loser" etc.
  • are defensive
  • whine about the unfairness that is constantly being doled out to them
  • whine about the being overlooked and under-appreciated 
  • have an overblown sense of importance
  • are prideful; and because of that, they:
    • cannot admit fault 
    • have a hard time apologizing 
  • have a victim mentality
  • seek attention
  • have a short temper and are easily rattled
  • tend to be depressed and/or anxious
  • are constantly focusing on the worst scenario
  • have a lot of physical ailments
  • don't like to see anyone else succeed
  • have a tendency toward perfectionism
  • project their negativity onto others 
Because deep down, they don't like themselves. 

Most people who constantly have a negative attitude are really afraid of being rejected or abandoned. They are afraid that someone will find out what they're really like and no longer love them.

People with a negative attitude desperately desire recognition, acceptance, approval and love.

Know anyone like that? Maybe it's you. 

It's a big list. We've all fallen into some of those negative attitudes at some point in our lives. We're human. We're far from perfect. 

That list was frighteningly easy for me to put together because at one time I could check off each one as part of who I was. I was one of the most negative people out there. I even carried myself in a negative fashion. I was like Eeyore, the donkey from Winnie the Pooh, whose most famous quote is, "Thanks for noticin' me." And the saddest part of all was that I didn't even know that I was negative. It was just a way of life for me.

So, how do you turn it around?

Is being positive enough? How do you just decide to become positive one day?

Tune in tomorrow. We'll explore this a bit more in-depth.

Until then, don't beat yourself up. Don't be discouraged. There is Hope. There is a Way Out. 

Blessings Along the Path,

Song of the Day
Jesus, Friend of Sinners

Sharing with Mel today at Essential Fridays and Laura at Faith-Filled Friday


  1. Wow, this was a convicting post to read. Not a negative post but it brought sweet conviction to my heart over an issue. Thanks for your honest open words.

  2. Thank you Betty. Sometimes you write a post and then think, "Is that right? Should I have said that?" you know...all those negative things! I'm glad to know it hit home for you. It's amazing how much negativity is out there!