Friday, November 28, 2014

My Accidental Dating Life

I recently took one of those tests on know the kind...Can we guess your real age? Can we guess your job? What color describes your personality?

I don't even remember what the test was about because I ended up signing up for a dating service. There was an ad at the top of the page that I didn't thoroughly read. I only saw Men and Women. I thought I was supposed to choose which one I was for the sake of the test. I chose Women, since that is the category that best describes me.

I was instantly shown some very un-sexy men in my age category. I would later find out that it was an app that I downloaded, and with that download, I allowed this site to have access to my Facebook information. Scary. Very scary. In fact, I sort of freaked out. I was suddenly a happily married woman trolling Facebook for the scum of the earth to have an affair with. Help!

It got worse. My e-mail inbox was flooded (okay, so a light trickle; I'm not that desirable) with emails from desperate and lonely people who sent me an "ice-breaker," a question about myself to start the conversation. Oh my! I didn't even open them. I continued to freak out. What have I done? And how do I undo it? 

Someone help!

I finally figured out that it was an app and all I had to do was uninstall it and everything went away. No more ice-breaker questions. No more emails. No more men who don't care what they look like thinking that they might be attractive to a happily married woman who writes a Christian blog and might decide to talk about them on said blog.

But this little slip of the finger taught me something valuable:

Life is not a series of apps that we can just undo to make undesirable things go away.

We often make mistakes, and we have to deal with them. We have to suffer the consequences of our impetuous decisions, our impulsive purchases, our immature words and actions.

I was lucky that this was an easy fix.  But what if I wasn't happily married? What if I was lonely? What if I was "just curious?" What if the man who popped up on my screen looked like George Clooney...or WAS George Clooney? Isn't that how sin begins? Temptation. Oh, I'm just going to look; there's no harm in that. Oh, it's just this one time. I only cheated a little. 

You can't sin "just a little bit." You either don't give in to temptation or you do. And if you do, you've sinned.

The good news is that God always forgives us when we repent. Always.

If we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9)

The bad news is that we often leave a mess behind us. A mess that God won't clean up for us. He might supply us with the means, and he might send folks to come alongside and encourage us and support us, but he won't do it for us. Ironically, that's also good news.

Anyone who is a parent understands the importance of letting their child clean up his or her own mess. If we do it for them, they'll never learn. God does the same for us.

God forgives our sins, but he allows us to be uncomfortable in our consequences. It's the only way we'll learn.

We can't just uninstall our mistakes. We can't just turn our beliefs off and on, like we do our computer, and hope that temptation doesn't pop up again each time we reboot. And unfortunately, the beauty of editing something written doesn't happen in real life. We can't edit what we say or do once it's said or done (Oh, how I wish I could...). We can't always undo our actions. 

Hopefully this helps us think twice about our actions. In a lightning fast world, it's easy to get caught up in "gimme it now." But as my accidental dating life can attest to, "now" is not always the best option.


(Maybe one of these days I'll tell you about the time I answered an ad on Craig's List for "adult actors" and talked to the guy for 5 minutes before I realized I was pre-auditioning for porn. True story. Like I said, "Think!")

Blessings Along the Path,

Sharing this post with Deb at Blessing Counters, Rosilind with A Little R&R, Janis at Sunday Stillness, Barbie at the Weekend Brew, Terri at Good Morning Monday, Joan at Sharing His Beauty, Laura at Playdates With God and Naomi at Monday Musings


  1. Boy you make the internet sound scary! ;) Visiting from The Weekend Brew (and now MORE carefully watching what I click on and vowing to leave those facebook quizzes alone!) Happy Weekend!

    1. Karrilee, if we let it, the internet CAN be a scary place. I'm just glad I got out of my predicament! Those FB quizzes are not all they're cracked up to be anyway. I just took one that would tell me how ladylike I am and it told me I was 72% ladylike, which is so untrue! I'm a lot less! (I'm from New Jersey!) haha!

  2. Just loved this. Read it to my hubby. Great writing and lots if humour but with a good lesson as always.
    Thanks for linking to Sunday Stillness.

    1. Thanks, Janis. I try to find the humor (or humour, as you write it) in most things. It really helps to ease the burdens of life. Sometimes it's in my hindsight, as this one was.

  3. I love that line - God forgives our sins, but he allows us to be uncomfortable in our circumstances.

  4. A good lesson! I enjoyed your story and the lesson you drew out of it. I often confer with my husband before opening something new on my computer.

  5. What a great lesson! Life is not about going full force and doing whatever we want because there are consequences. Thank goodness for delete buttons on the internet because I imagine we have all clicked on something that was not as it seemed. Thanks for linking up to The Weekend Brew.

  6. Hilarious AND so very applicable, Mary. You are so right, friend-- we can't just uninstall our mistakes or kick it old school and hit control, alt, delete (that used to be my HP answer for EVERYTHING.) Thinking is so very important-- something that my impulsive nature finds a little bit difficult (But God is working on me, for sure.)

    So glad to "Meet" you at Joan's BIHG link-up. Blessings to you!

  7. Wow I'm glad I'm not on facebook anymore :-) This is a great post and true in every regard thanks for sharing at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings