I don't feel like shopping.
I don't want to write.
I have autumn decor mixed with Christmas decor...and I don't really care.
I feel a bit disjointed, discombobulated, distracted.
I can't seem to concentrate on any one task long enough to accomplish anything.
Well, in all honesty, that last thing is an ever-present trait.
Part of the problem is the cold weather and shorter days. A few years ago, I self diagnosed myself with SAD, a type of depression that occurs during seasonal changes, primarily winter.
I miss being outside. I miss warm weather. I miss sunlight.
I just want to watch past episodes of Parks and Recreation. Or sleep. Like my co-worker.
Exercise would certainly help...
Okay, enough said on that topic.
Advent is a time of expectation; of waiting. We spend a month waiting for something that is fleeting...while the packages may be full, the joy that we feel from what's within the package wears off quickly.
The truth is that a good majority of people find Christmas to be anything but joyful. The expectations are high, but the return is often low, which sets us up for depression.
Estranged family members, bad family vibes, jealousy, envy, bitterness, anger, loneliness, unforgiveness, and petty annoyances become more pronounced as that magical day creeps ever closer.
What does that have to do with my restlessness?
I don't know. Maybe nothing.
But maybe my restlessness is because I'm finally seeing that there is so much more to Christmas than giving and receiving gifts. As much as I would like to receive the things on my list, I really wouldn't care if we just got rid of the gift giving (Note to Hubster: Do NOT return gifts).
If we took all of that away, what would Christmas look like? What would it look like to you?
To me, it would still look like celebrating my Savior, Jesus Christ, who was born in human form, as a baby, to a humble Jewish girl. One who would embrace me in my restlessness, even though he himself was just a restless baby.
I've disclosed this before: I'm not a theologian; I'm just an ordinary woman. But this is what I think:
I think that Jesus didn't wait until he was on the cross to embrace my sin. He did it the moment He was born.
I wonder...did He have a sense of restlessness growing up? Did He know what would be expected of Him in a time yet to come? How much did He understand, being fully human, but fully God?
It is truly a mystery. One that we will never have the answer to until we see Him face to face in all of His splendor and glory.
I suppose that my restlessness could be a symptom of my waiting, my anticipation and expectation of the coming King...yeah, I'm going with that.
Blessings Along the Path,
Song of the Day: Mystery by Selah (if video does not display, click here)