Friday, December 12, 2014

Advent Restlessness

I've been feeling restless.

I don't feel like shopping. 
I don't want to write.
I have autumn decor mixed with Christmas decor...and I don't really care.
I feel a bit disjointed, discombobulated, distracted.

I can't seem to concentrate on any one task long enough to accomplish anything.

Well, in all honesty, that last thing is an ever-present trait. 

Part of the problem is the cold weather and shorter days. A few years ago, I self diagnosed myself with SAD, a type of depression that occurs during seasonal changes, primarily winter. 

I miss being outside. I miss warm weather. I miss sunlight. 

I just want to watch past episodes of Parks and Recreation. Or sleep. Like my co-worker.



Exercise would certainly help...


Okay, enough said on that topic.

Advent is a time of expectation; of waiting. We spend a month waiting for something that is fleeting...while the packages may be full, the joy that we feel from what's within the package wears off quickly. 

The truth is that a good majority of people find Christmas to be anything but joyful. The expectations are high, but the return is often low, which sets us up for depression. 

Estranged family members, bad family vibes, jealousy, envy, bitterness, anger, loneliness, unforgiveness, and petty annoyances become more pronounced as that magical day creeps ever closer.

What does that have to do with my restlessness? 

I don't know. Maybe nothing. 

But maybe my restlessness is because I'm finally seeing that there is so much more to Christmas than giving and receiving gifts. As much as I would like to receive the things on my list, I really wouldn't care if we just got rid of the gift giving (Note to Hubster: Do NOT return gifts).

If we took all of that away, what would Christmas look like? What would it look like to you?

To me, it would still look like celebrating my Savior, Jesus Christ, who was born in human form, as a baby, to a humble Jewish girl. One who would embrace me in my restlessness, even though he himself was just a restless baby.

I've disclosed this before: I'm not a theologian; I'm just an ordinary woman. But this is what I think: 

I think that Jesus didn't wait until he was on the cross to embrace my sin. He did it the moment He was born. 



I wonder...did He have a sense of restlessness growing up? Did He know what would be expected of Him in a time yet to come? How much did He understand, being fully human, but fully God?

It is truly a mystery. One that we will never have the answer to until we see Him face to face in all of His splendor and glory. 

I suppose that my restlessness could be a symptom of my waiting, my anticipation and expectation of the coming King...yeah, I'm going with that.

Blessings Along the Path,
Mary

Song of the Day: Mystery by Selah (if video does not display, click here)

sharing this post with Faith Filled Fridays, Counting My Blessings, My Freshly Brewed Life, Sunday Stillness,

7 comments:

  1. At our house, we don't have a Christmas tree with the presents under it. We dealt for years with the negative emotions on your list with family.

    At this time of year, we do have a Jesse tree and accompanying devotional and lessons every day. Every day is in anticipation of looking forward to our Savior. And on His birthday (or at least the day we celebrate it), we talk about what Jesus would want for His birthday and how we can and will work to give Him what we can.

    I'm with you :-) .

    Blessings,

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  2. I love the word "discombobulated." It always makes me smile and I know the feeling well. I like it so much better than the words my doctor chooses - "highly agitated." I'm a Sanguine. My feelings are out there. What a blessing to know that my Savior knows and loves my agitated discombobulated self, and that He lived and died to give me forgiveness, peace, and a blessed future. Thanks Mary!

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    1. Yes, discombobulated sounds a little less frantic than highly agitated. I'm a mix of Sanguine and Choleric. I don't like to admit the Choleric...I'd prefer the Sanguine, but I realized once that I was not being honest in my test questions! Thanks for stopping by Deb

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  3. Hi Mary! Ok, I'm a big fan of Parks and Rec too!
    I miss being outside too my friend. Today it's pretty warm for December, but still no sun. I'm sorry you suffer so in the winter...
    I love that question, did Jesus have a feeling of restlessness growing up? Wonderful! I never thought of that before, and it's worth thinking about.
    I pray you will have some peace this week, as Christmas advances closer and closer. I agree with your thoughts too, that it's more than gifts. (Actually, I like the Advent time almost more than the day itself!)
    Blessings always,
    Ceil

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  4. This brought a big smile to my face. I can relate to the restlessness (I self-diagnosed myself with ADD :) ) and until about 24 hours ago I also had autumn decor mixed with Christmas and I was pretty okay with that. The anticipation of something better and bigger than us is enough to cause a restlessness in our hearts and that is what I am going with today. Blessed you joined us at The Weekend Brew.

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  5. I've been feeling restless and discombobulated too! I am doing things smaller this year, much out of necessity, but it's really helping me to focus on my family and what truly is important. Blessings!

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