Friday, January 2, 2015

My Word for 2015 Was Not What I Expected


Everyone seems to be abuzz with their "word" for 2015. I did not know this was a trend. My friend, "Grace" (not her real name) told me several months ago that God had given her the word, "abide" for the year (2014). I named her "Grace" because she shared her story here on my blog (I Don't Like That!). You'll see why I changed her name if you click on the link and read (forgive the odd highlighting...I have no idea why that happened).

ANYWAY...I realized late in 2014 that I too had a word, but didn't know it until I realized that I was always using it. The word was simplify. 

I think if I'd known about the word in January, I probably would have gone about it all wrong. It wasn't until I realized that I'd succeeded in simplifying my life late in the year did I realize I had actually "done" my word.

So, this year I set out to obtain a word from the Lord, not realizing that everyone in Blogland and most likely elsewhere is doing this. Perhaps I've simplified my life too much. I don't seem to know what's going on.


The first word I heard was "choose wisely."

Well, I thought, that's technically two words, so I don't know if it counts, but okay. I won't question it if it's from God.

But I wasn't sure it was.

So I asked Him.  

Silence.

I went on with my simplified life and when I thought about it again, I heard, "accept."  Oh, I like that one, I thought. But was it from God, or was it something I simply have a heart for? 

Well, once I opened myself up to hearing "my word," I started hearing all kinds of words! 

Care.
Deeper.
Finish.
Fight.

Now I was really confused. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that when I'm confused, it's not God. I need to get still.

So I did. I started to pray through journaling, something I don't do often, but when I do, I know that He will come. And He will respond. And He did. 

The word jumped out at me while I was journaling the still, small voice I was tuning myself in to hearing.

Disciple.

Huh?

I know it was God because my heart leaped in recognition. And because I was disappointed at the same time.

Because I wanted something fun or easy, like accept, care. Something that came naturally. 
Like a spoiled child, I wanted candy, not vegetables.

Ah, but that's not how God works. 

If you want to go deeper, you need to be challenged.

The Lord has been speaking to me lately about maturity. While at times I feel like I really need to grow up, there are many other times that I realize that I'm on the other side of the bible now: A "Titus 2 Woman" (teacher and admonisher of younger women).

Being on the other side of 50 and having learned and been discipled myself (at times unknowingly) has given me something that I can now share with other, younger women. Maybe not necessarily new moms, new wives; maybe it will be women my own age who are new in their faith. Or maybe it will be younger women; new moms and new wives. Like last year's word, simplify, I need to just let it evolve and not try to figure it all out.

Maybe I will be discipled this year by another woman. Maybe, just maybe, if I open myself up to it, I will be discipled by the Master in a way I've never been discipled before. 

The Holy Spirit continued to show me that in order to disciple someone, you need to learn to and teach how to make wise choices, accept, care, go deeper, finish what you start, and fight. All of those things...those fun things that I wanted to be "my word" are encompassed in my word for 2015. And simplifying my life was the foundation.

But I felt so...unworthy; so...unqualified! 

Half the time I feel like I don't even know what I'm talking about...how am I going to "train" someone else to become a Godly woman?

Then I looked in my concordance and discovered something about the first Disciples. This is what I saw (emphasis is mine):

Mt 10:1:    He called his twelve d to him
     26:56:  Then all the d deserted him
     28:19:  Therefore, go and make d
Mk 3:7:     withdrew with his d to the lake
      16:20: Then the d went out and preached
Lk 6:13:    he called his d to him and chose   
Jn 2:11:    and his d put their faith in him
     6:66:    many of his d turned their backs on him
     8:31:   to my teaching, you are really my d
    12:16:  at first, his d did not understand at all
    13:35:  men will know that you are my d
    15:8:    showing yourself to be my d
    20:20:  The d were overjoyed

The references continued into Acts, were they were strengthened.

As I read this list, I was struck by the depth of the disciples' level of being unqualified! Just like me. Of course, I've been taught this, I've read this, I've heard sermons on this...yes, the disciples messed up, just like we do. God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called. I've heard it all before, numerous times.

But there was something about reading these references in a list; without any extra teaching or words.

They were called; they deserted him. 
They put their faith in him; they turned their backs on him. 
They didn't understand; they proved themselves.

They were overjoyed.
They were strengthened.

They didn't know what they were doing any more than I do! And they were still called; chosen. They still went. 

Most of their messes and ambiguity came when they were with Jesus.
Most of their joy and strength came after He was gone. 

The time we spend with the Master is the time we learn. But there comes a time when we must go. While we must always cling to our Savior, there comes a time when we must let go and trust that the Holy Spirit will go with us.

When we go, when we preach, when we go out and make disciples, it is then that we are overjoyed and strengthened.

Huh...I kind of like my word.

Blessings Along the Path,
Mary

I would love to hear what your word is for the year, if you have one! 

Sharing this with Faith Filled Friday, The Weekend Brew, Sunday Stillness, Coffee For Your Heart

10 comments:

  1. I love your word, and I love how you keeping seeking Him through the confusion of all of the other words. Can't wait to watch this word unfold in your life.

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  2. Mary I love this post such honesty and great insight into scripture. My One Word is 'release' I have a passion much as yours, I am so glad there are more Titus women rising up be encouraged by the verse that has encourage me in my call without qualification 1 Peter 5:2 - May this be a year you shepherd many xx

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  3. Tania, the funny thing is that it really is not a passion of mine, but God...

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  4. Mary - this is total awesomeness!! Discipleship is a passion of my own that I have sought to walk in my whole walk with Him. It is the foundation of what all I do - to learn of Him and then, to pass that onto another. Sharing the bread. Good word! I think I may have a phrase this year . . . will be sharing next week when my blog break is over and Ed goes back to work. Sneaking online and caught this post now, just had to say "yay-hooray" to you!
    Joy!
    Kathy

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  5. Kathy,I took a blog break from my blog break to write this. Funny how others are more excited than I am about my word. I'm more...I don't know...sort of trying to figure it all out I guess. I know that this is your passion, so perhaps you will disciple me this year to disciple others...who knows???!!! I look forward to hearing what your phrase is.

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  6. Great post! And great insights. I did a word last year, just because I'd never done it before (and because God kind of made me do it), but I am not planning on doing it this year. I keep feeling a pull towards it, though. Not one word, but one question. What if? What if... we prayed as though we believed God would answer? What if... we challenge some of the unwritten rules of our faith? What if... we examine and grow and ask and wrestle and seek? I may not make it "official," but I definitely am feeling a pull in that direction!

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    1. Thanks Kelly. Interesting that you should mention , "What if..." Because I was thinking about the whole one word thing and thought...what if we could only speak in one word sentences and what if we only had five minutes to make an impact on someone? What would we say? We would have to really think and choose our words carefully. BTW, I mentioned you in my "What I Learned in 2014 post."

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  7. I wasn't excited about my word, "content", but I know God has some things to teach me. 2014 was a year of living discontent in every way. Thanks for sharing at The Weekend Brew!

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  8. I too have been felt called lately to mentor or disciple other women. When I told God I can't, He told me I just have to be willing. So I am willing now.

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