Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Everyone Lies

Yesterday I mentioned a new series that I started watching called, "Secrets and Lies."

For those of you who missed my last blog, I'll recap by saying that the show is a series about a neighborhood being torn apart by the unsolved murder of the young son of one of the neighbors. Ben, the man who finds him, is (we believe) falsely accused of the murder, and he sets out to find the real murderer. In so doing, he ends up jumping to conclusions, accusing people publicly, and alienating his friends.

In the last episode, Ben is talking to the detective, played by Juliette Lewis. He is sure that his latest suspect is guilty of something, and tells the detective, "He's lying!"

Her response?

"Everyone lies."

Everyone lies.

Is that true?

Do you lie?



Have you ever lied?

Everyone lies.


I attempted to collect Unemployment for the last month or so, due to seasonal layoffs.  For those of you who don't know, I work for my son's landscaping company, and another company that he is part owner of (two part time jobs which comprise a full time day).

I was denied benefits for the landscape company because I checked "Yes" in the box that asked, "Are you related to the owner?"

The response when I told people?

"Why did you say you were related? You have a different last name! They'd never know!"

But I'd know. And God would know. 


I don't lie well.

At the end of the telephone interview I had (because of the box I'd checked), the claims examiner told me, "You can go online and file for your benefits on Sunday."

Well, that particular Sunday, I would be in Puerto Rico. Since this was my first time at all this, I wasn't sure how to do that if I would be away, so I blurted out, "I'll be on vacation."

"Then you'll be ineligible for benefits while you're away, since you'll be unavailable for work," she informed me. "You'll need to call us when you return, to tell us that you're back"

The response when I told people?

"Why did you tell her that? You should have just had someone else file the claim for you, or did it when you got back."

In other words, lie again.

"But that's wrong."

"No, it's not. Not really."

Yes...really.  It's wrong. Not to mention, against the law.

Some people lie very easily. Others, like me, have never lied well.

The trouble with not lying is that not everyone is in the same camp. 

People don't understand why you won't lie. After all...

Everyone lies.

I have found it very difficult to be different. I've given up trying to explain why I won't do what everyone else does. I allow myself to be ridiculed and the brunt of the joke. I'm okay with that.

Now, I'm not perfect. Yes, I have lied.

Everyone lies.

That's actually true.

We lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
We lie to avoid punishment.
We lie to avoid blame.
We lie to avoid responsibility.
We lie to avoid confrontation.
We lie to avoid exposing a secret.
We lie to avoid truth.

Seems to me that lying is a sin of avoidance. 

If I had just checked "No" in that box that asked if I was related, I could have avoided the telephone interview that would eventually determine my denial of benefits. 

We also lie to get.

If I'd lied on my application for benefits, I would have received my full benefits (I would have also committed a crime).

It's also a sin of convenience.

If I had just kept my mouth shut during that interview, I could have continued to claim my benefits with no interruption, and avoided yet another phone call and another interview.

But I would have known that I'd lied.

Maybe that doesn't matter for some people. But it matters to me, because I answer to a Higher Authority than the State of New Jersey.

Lying always seems to catch up with us eventually. And when it does, it has worse consequences than what we would have suffered if we'd just told the truth.

The bottom line for someone who is a follower of Christ is this:

The Lord detests lying lips, but delights in those who tell the truth (Proverbs 12:22).

The consequences of lying are great because they are the consequences of sin. Telling the truth may not always reap a reward, but it always brings delight to our Father. And that alone is enough of a blessing.

Telling the truth certainly didn't cause me to reap a reward; in fact, it was the opposite. I lost out on benefits that I still believe I should have received, but there are apparently laws regarding a parent working for a child. 

I could focus on that, or I could dwell on the peace that I have in knowing that I told the truth, and my Father delights in that. 

What about you? What are your thoughts on lying? Has telling a lie ever gotten you into greater trouble? Has choosing truth over a lie caused you to lose a reward but reap a blessing? Tell me about it in the comments section below!

Blessings Along the Path,
Mare

sharing this post with Wedded Wednesday, Coffee For Your Heart, Testimony Tuesday, Blessing Counters, Grace-TruthThe Weekend Brew, Sunday Stillness

20 comments:

  1. Oh, yes! I've been in that kind of situation in the past. And yes, I've lied on occasion. You're words (God's words through you) are very convicting, Mary. And I think your reasons for why we lie are spot on! I think it's great that you are tackling this sticky issue in a series of posts. I'll be checking out the next one for sure!

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    1. Thanks, Beth. I didn't know there would be a next one, but since you're looking forward to it, I thought of something, but it will take awhile to gather my thoughts and to hear God's thoughts on it.

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  2. Like you, Mary, I don't lie well, either. I have trouble even getting the words out. I'm sure I was in one of those situations at some point in my life, but I can't remember one off the top of my head, right now. But, as your article says, everyone lies. Maybe not all the time, but everyone HAS lied at least once in their lives, even if as a child. But some of us learn our lesson, and stay clear of it, while others can't seem to stop. Then there are those in between, which I think falls into those you listed.

    Great post!

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    1. My problem is that I get all flustered. My face shows it all, whatever it is. I'm pretty transparent. I do pity those, as you say, who can't seem to help it...pathological liars...although not too much...my daughter knew someone like that and it wasn't pretty!

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  3. I have heard someone else say that everyone lies. I wonder do people ever think about that they may lie to themselves, because they are in denial about some things?

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  4. I have been wanting to watch that show :). I'll have to check it out on demand. I'm not one to lie either. The older I get and the more I want to make God smile, I definitely try harder. I certainly can't say I never lied. Even things like saying my kids are younger than they are to get a cheaper price is a lie. They are all the same in God's eyes. Sadly it was my kids getting old enough to call me on it that stopped those lies :). I think it's great you chose honesty. You should be able to find peace in that decision.

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    1. Sigh...yes, I think we're all guilty of some sort of lying. Thank God...well, for God!

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  5. Mary, I love that you choose to dwell in peace, instead of focusing on what you didn't get. This is an awesome, thought provoking post. Makes me wonder: have I lied lately? Like you, I'm not good at it (thankful for that!). Thanks for your honesty!

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    1. Ellen, the peace didn't come right away! I had to work at it. I really wanted what I thought I deserved! And it didn't help that just about everyone I spoke to told me to appeal it and that I should have lied, yadayadayada.

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    2. Ellen, the peace didn't come right away! I had to work at it. I really wanted what I thought I deserved! And it didn't help that just about everyone I spoke to told me to appeal it and that I should have lied, yadayadayada.

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  6. Very good read!

    Every since I was little, I've always been a "Miss Goody Two Shoes", with a major guilty conscience which makes it difficult for me to lie as well, but as you stated, it is true, "everyone lies" including this Miss Goodty Two Shoes.

    When I was in Kindergarten, I had left a book out and hadn't put it away. When the teacher asked, who left the book out, I was afraid to answer. As a result, she punished the entire class!

    But I have also reaped blessings, for instance, when I've returned to the store noticing that the cashier didn't charge me for something that was in my bag. The cashier's are astonished that I didn't just walk away and said, "I've never known anyone that wouldn't just walk away. I'm impressed." The Lord was then glorified.

    Good encouragement to walk uprightly before the Lord.

    Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Karen, I love that story! I've always been a "Miss Goody Two Shoes" as well. In fact, I have a tendency to tattle. My sister told me of a time I told on her that I had no recollection of and I was actually mortified at how I did that! I always say that I'd either make a good police officer or otherwise rule enforcer, or a terrible one. Because I'm also a pushover...so I'd either make everyone follow the rules and make lots of enemies, or I'd let everyone get away with everything! And yes, I've returned to the store as well.

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    2. Karen, I love that story! I've always been a "Miss Goody Two Shoes" as well. In fact, I have a tendency to tattle. My sister told me of a time I told on her that I had no recollection of and I was actually mortified at how I did that! I always say that I'd either make a good police officer or otherwise rule enforcer, or a terrible one. Because I'm also a pushover...so I'd either make everyone follow the rules and make lots of enemies, or I'd let everyone get away with everything! And yes, I've returned to the store as well.

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  7. I always enjoy your writing! Your direct approach & humor puts a smile on my face :) Thank you for sharing at Grace & Truth!

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  8. I have never been good at lying and because of that I just don't lie! Now that doesn't mean I am perfect in any way but as much as admitting something can make me feel uncomfortable, lying makes me feel even worse. Have a blessed Sunday!

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    1. Mary, I never quite understand how people can do it so easily. Compromise, greed...thanks for stopping in.

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  9. Great post! Lying is serious to God and it should be to the born-again Christian. So often we justify our "little white lies" because we're trying to spare people's feelings or avoid an argument, but sin is never justified, except by the perfect sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Linked up with you at Sunday Stillness -- hope you'll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
    God bless,
    Laurie
    http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/

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  10. Just received a cheque for $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much money you can make taking paid surveys online...

    So I show them a video of myself actually getting paid $500 for taking paid surveys to finally set the record straight.

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