Thursday, June 4, 2015

Is "I am" more important than I AM?

I didn't wake up well this morning. I was tired and grumpy. We've had a lot of rainy and dreary days lately, and I really don't do well with that kind of weather.

But Lucy and I took our morning walk anyway.

As I was walking, I thought about my moods lately. They haven't been good. 

I've been having phone issues. To make a long story (that you don't want to read about) short, I was told that the phone company would replace my defective (new) phone, BUT it would be a reconditioned (used) phone. 

When I received said "reconditioned" phone last night, I opened the box to see a phone with a dirty screen saver, full of air bubbles and not even placed correctly on the phone. This was not a reconditioned phone. This was clearly used.  I went to bed frustrated and mad. So I woke up the same way.

As I walked, I started to talk to God. 

And I remembered the book I'm supposed to be writing---the one that is based on my 31 Days to Overcoming Negativity posts.  

The antidote to negativity is found in Philippians 4:8----the Whatevers.  

Ah, I thought, that's it! I just need to think about whatever is right and good and noble (I can never remember the order of all of them) and true...

I stopped mid-thought. What is true? I asked myself.

"Well," I said out loud. "It's true that I got a defective phone. It's true that they sent me a used one. And a dirty one. It's true..."

No, I heard. The Holy Spirit interrupted my diatribe. What is True? (with a capital "T")


I'll admit, I was kind of speechless. I was trying to think and couldn't come up with anything. I'd been so focused on me and my problem, I couldn't come up with what was True about God.

"That's pitiful," I heard myself say.

But that wasn't True! See how insidious our enemy can be?

"I am NOT pitiful," I said. "I am a child of God and a co-heir with Christ. I am deeply loved and forgiven. I am valuable.  I am important..."

I AM is important. There it was again, cutting into my thoughts.

It was still about me, wasn't it?

"I am" had become more important than I AM.

"I am angry, frustrated, tired, sad, and entitled" simply became "I am loved, forgiven, valuable, and important."

Those things are true...and even True...but that's not what the Holy Spirit wanted me to focus on. There are times when we need that validation, but this wasn't one of those times. What I was dealing with were feelings, not wrong beliefs. 

I simply needed to choose new feelings.

As long as I keep focusing on my problem, my feelings, my "I am," I will lose my focus on I AM. 

I cannot follow my own desire for resolution and my need for restitution, and expect to hear God's will for me at the same time. 

Sure, God wants to help me resolve the issue, and there are times when He gives us favor in a frustrating circumstance, but my point is this: 

We cannot make our problems our focus. 

When we do that, we lose our patience, our peace and our joy.

Over a phone?

So not worth it.

When we pray, we are to pray TO the Father, THROUGH Jesus, not pray ABOUT the problem.

When I realized this and repented, my problem was quickly reduced to simply an issue that needs to be addressed. It no longer occupied that valuable real estate in my head.

Yes, I still had the problem, issue, but more than that, I still have Jesus. And He is the one who stills my heart to a place of calm. It is only when I am calm will I be able to think clearly.

How are you confusing your "I am" with "I AM" today?

Blessings Along the Path,

PS: After work, I went to the phone store (carrier shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) and the store manager told me that the dirty screen saver was just any old one they found that they put on to protect the phone during shipping. Thankfully, I hadn't made a scene, or I would've felt pretty stupid. The phone dropped a call several times this evening, so I'm not sure the issue is resolved. However, I did discover some pretty neat things while setting it up, that I didn't know before. So maybe there's hope. I'm just glad I kept my peace. Oh, and did I mention...the store manager's name is Emmanuel? God With Us.

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  1. Hello Mary, good post. When we pray we pray to God through Jesus and not about the problem.
    I should always remember this! God knows our hearts and our problems but it shouldnt always be about us!
    Lovely friend...
    Hugs and blessings to you

  2. Thanks, Ifeoma. And thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this post.