Later that night, I had to deal with an ongoing issue that kept me on the phone for hours and offered no satisfactory solution. After I hung up and threw my hissy fit (note: I let emotions rule me), the Hubster said, "You had no choice (in relation to the situation's non-resolution)."
"Not true," I replied. "We always have a choice."
How often have you said that out of frustration or anger?
"I had no choice!"
Even when there seems to be no choice, we always have a choice. We can accept or reject an unsatisfactory answer.
If we choose to accept the situation, it usually means that we give up our right to be right, as well as our belief that our demands should be met on our terms. And when we've been fighting for our cause, we don't want to give up and admit defeat.
When we reject the offered or prescribed answer, when the solution is not to our satisfaction, our anger is fueled, our self-righteousness is kindled, and our need for restitution is ignited.
We choose to stay in anger to protect our self-righteous behavior.
Unhealthy thinking keeps us stuck in that mindset, in a constant search for the next person (or company, in my case) to blame for wronging us. It creates a pattern that keeps us trapped in anger, frustration and negativity.
That's what makes grouchy old biddies and grumpy old men.
Is that where you want to live?
I sure don't.
The catalyst to change?
Decide if it's worth the battle. If so, then by all means continue to pursue it, knowing that you still may not get your way in the end. But if you decide that the pursuit for "my way" is not worth the aggravation or the health risks (higher blood pressure, loss of sleep, appetite changes/mood swings, depression, etc), then the following steps are necessary:
- Forgive the individual(s) and let it go.
- Accept the situation, the solution, and your part of the blame.
- Release your anger/frustration/right to be right/right to be compensated.
In my case, it was a company that "wronged" me. Forgiveness wasn't necessary; however, I needed to let the issue go, and accept the fact that I'd made the initial decision, I'd signed a contract, and they really weren't responsible for what had gone wrong.
Sometimes, the offense is so great that we find forgiveness, acceptance and release impossible without the help of God. If we're honest, that's most of the time. That's the time to call on His name and ask for assistance.
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Knowing the difference is the key.
Are you in a state of serenity? Or a state of turbulence?
It's your choice.
Blessings Along the Path
I may share this post with any or all of the following:
Joan at Sharing His Beauty, Laura at Playdates With God, Holly at Testimony Tuesday, Kelly at #RaRa Cheerleading Linkup, Beth at Wedded Wednesday, Holley at Coffee For Your Heart, Crystal at Thriving Thursdays, Deb at Blessing Counters, Barbie and Mary at The Weekend Brew, Janis at Sunday Stillness, Kaylene at Grace and Truth, Arabah Joy at Grace and Truth