Only problem was, he was following his girlfriend, who was waiting for him in California. When we broke down in West Virginia, he decided that I should return home to New Jersey. Devastated and humiliated, I called my mother (who else?), who came and bailed me out not for the first, and not for the last time.
I also decided to change my name.
Mary simply wasn't good enough. Too plain. Too simple. Too boring. I was in California! And it was 1979! I was trying to find myself.
I'll bet you want to know what my new name was, don't you?
(pronounced the Spanish way, with the 'e' sounding like a long 'a'). I still love that name.
I'd discovered that my full first name was really Mary Theresa (not just Mary, with Theresa being my middle name). I thought I'd go with that, but shorten it.
Funny thing was, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried, but it sounded strange, like everyone would know I was lying, and I'd be found out, and they'd all make fun of me.
Plus, I didn't know when people were talking to me. It didn't stick. In fact, years later, someone from an organization I'd briefly been involved with called my father's house looking for Maresa. He told the caller that she died. Which she did.
Why do we feel the need to escape who we are?
Because we want to escape our past. We want to start over. Try
Moving to a new state gave me ample opportunity to change who I was, complete with a new name. Or so I thought.
The problem with that is this:
Simply changing our location and our name won't change who we are.
We can try to forget our past, but it's like putting a bandage over a deep wound. It works for awhile, but needs constant care and attention to keep the blood from soaking through.
Eventually, we need to see a doctor to have that wound stitched up properly so that it will begin to heal.
We need to deal with our past and all the feelings that go along with it. That constant care and attention we give it gets exhausting, not to mention the fact that it leaves room for infection.
Why don't we like who we are?
Why do we want to change?
What do we want to change?
What about the things we can't change? How do we deal with those?
Dealing with questions like these takes time and takes courage. Sometimes, we may need a good support group, trusted friend, mentor, pastor, bible study or even a good counselor.
God is big on changing names. Abram became Abraham (Gen 16-17). Jacob became Israel (Gen 32).
Then there's Peter (John 1:42).
But all kidding aside...
My favorite from Isaiah 62:2-5:
Hephzibah means My delight is in her (and Beulah means married).
Now THAT, my friends--this name-changer--is a game changer!
The key is not in changing our name, but allowing our name to be changed--by God Himself.
When we come to Christ and give Him all the pain and hurt of our past, He makes us new. He gives us our new name.
But know this:
Your new name will only come when you give the international call for help:
- Submit to God, instead of continuing to fight against Him.
- Obey His instructions, instead of continuing in rebellion.
- Stand and see the deliverance the Lord will bring you (Ex 14:14).
So, scratch Maresa. I now have another new name:
That's right. The name my parents gave me.
The name Mary is a derivative of Miriam, or even myrrh, which means, "bitter," or "rebellious." Yeah, not so great, but sadly, it describes the former me. But get this:
It also means, "wished for child."
And according to my mother, I was.
It is also believed to have originally been an Egyptian name, meaning, "beloved."
So there ya go--full circle:
From bitter rebellion to beloved, wished-for child.
What's in your name?
Check it out at Behindthename.com.
Blessings Along the Path,
Song of the Day: I Will Change Your Name
Exciting News (at least, for me)!
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Embracing Who You Are and Walking in Who You Were Meant to Be.
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