I've been feeling melancholy lately. I get this way when the seasons change. Part of the S.A.D.(Seasonal Affect Disorder) I suppose. My moods fluctuate from sadness to aggravation to both. Worse is that for a variety of reasons, I haven't written in over a week--and I'd committed to writing my novel every day. Part life getting in the way, part lethargy.
The more time slips away, the more disinterested I become, and that scares me. I am committed to finishing this, and I'm drifting right now--somewhere in the middle. When life prevents me from continuing, I become angry...with life, and with myself (I'm very hard on myself).
During all of this, I hear the Spirit calling. I feel the tug in my most inner being. Yet, I ignore it. After all, what do I have to offer you Lord? I feel like I'll just sit there, not knowing what to say, becoming bored when I don't hear anything. And opening the bible to just any old place---I'd probably get, "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!" Because right now, I can only see the woes and not the blesseds.
The other night I was restless. I was too annoyed with things from the day to write--I was afraid that my attempts would cause my characters to defect into another novel--and try as I might, I couldn't concentrate on reading. I felt the creative pull, but I just wasn't in the mood.
I saw my Beautiful Word Bible sitting on my footstool. It truly is a beautiful bible. It's illustrated--in the margins--like what's trendy now. I started reading through Philippians and before I knew it, I wanted to illustrate my bible. So I picked up my journaling bible and copied (Beautiful Bible is on left; my copy is on the right).
There is something about copying the Word, and staying in that scripture for an hour that does the heart, soul, mind and spirit good. My mood lightened, my burden lifted, and my spirit connected with God. How could I not praise the Lord?
Next thing I knew, Hubbles was going off to bed, and I was looking for another scripture to copy (mine is on the left this time--and I have a different version).
I needed to be creative, but I just didn't have it in me to create. And that bothered me. But copying I can do. And knowing that God has made me, will carry me and has saved me put me in the right frame of mind to sleep soundly (and I did!).
The next day I woke up and felt that closeness to God that I'd been missing, and realized that was part of my sadness. After work, I plunged back in to the novel and copied three more pages in my bible!
If you're interested in the Beautiful Word Bible, it can be purchased any place bibles are sold (I got mine at Amazon).
If you're interested in how I made my beautiful copies, I first used pencil, then micro pens for the words (erasing the pencil after the ink dried, or erasing as you outline, before you fill.). Micro pens work nicely on bible pages because they don't bleed through. I used water color pencils for the flowers (water color pencils typically come with a small brush-you can color then paint over top with water to blend the colors to look like a watercolor painting).
If you find yourself in the same ugly place I was in, don't hide from God. He knows where you, are and guess what? He loves you still. Do whatever your inner self needs to connect with Him. But remember this--
It's okay to be in that place. It's okay to sit there and have nothing to say. It's okay if you don't feel His presence. It's okay if you don't "hear" anything. Faith isn't about feeling or hearing. It's about knowing. If you feel far from God, it's because you've moved, not Him.
Blessings (not woes!) Along the Path,
Sharing this blog with some of these lovelies
Monday, March 21, 2016
Illustrating Your Bible to Get Out of a Funk
I'm a person of creativity. I've always loved to entertain people, and especially, to make them laugh. I don't mind being the guinea pig, the one who is singled out to break the ice. I write what you think but don't want to admit. I'm a word nerd and a grammar geek. I love musical theatre, hiking, and worshipping my Lord, my King-the King of Glory. It's my desire to bring hope and healing to hurting individuals-or perhaps just to provoke thought, to give an encouraging word to get you through the day-through everyday situations and insights into God's Word.