Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Tools vs. Purses

I don't get the fascination most men have with tools. Or trucks. Sure, both are useful. Tools do a job. Trucks get you somewhere. But so do purses and shoes. And they're so much more fun to buy. And cost less (for the most part). Which is how women justify the need for so many.

Since I have a lot to say on this topic, let's talk first about tools vs. purses. Tomorrow, we'll delve into trucks vs. shoes.

Tools vs. Purses

Both do a job. Tools fix things and are useful for installing hooks, nails, screws, and other various hardware necessary for hanging pretty pictures and putting IKEA type furniture together. But not really. It's the men who do the fixing, installing, and building. They only use the tools to complete the task. This is why I don't need tools. I have a man.

Of course, there are women who don't have--or need--a man to do these things. Many women are quite adept at tool-related tasks. Some even enjoy it. For those women, I applaud you. Good for you. Also, there are pretty pink tool kits that combine all the tools you'll ever need into one handy carrying case. I used to have one. But then I got a man.

Or you could use your purse to put the ugly tools in. Either way, there's no need to have 4,593 tools that do the same job. All on the same top shelf of the toolbox, by the way. There are never any tools in the drawers.

Purses also do a job. They fix things, like where to put all the items you need when you go out. They're useful for holding things that you don't necessarily need, but may someday want, like bobby pins, three-year old lip gloss, two pennies, a memo pad, coupons that you forget you had until you get home, and other various objects that you move when you switch purses.

If you don't believe me, watch this video (What's in my purse? by Maddie Bragg). She has a LOT more in her purse than I ever did, including spare underwear.

That's another thing that purses have over tools. When you get tired of one, you can switch it out for a bigger, smaller, or more seasonal one. A screwdriver is just a screwdriver. Okay, there's a flat head, a Phillips head, and an Allen wrench. All equally boring. Who are these guys anyway that they get tools named after them? And is Allen his first or his last name? Typical male--uses only one name. I suppose it's like a Very Bradley purse. Or not.


Some smart man came up with the idea of wearing an all-in-one tool on his belt. I think it's called the Leatherman or some equally manly name. If it were a purse, it would be this:

Both are sort of cheating. 

And then there's the murse--a male purse. Otherwise known as a man bag. But we're not going there.

Then there are power tools. And power purses. For men, these would be circular saws, drills, sanders etc. And this thing, whatever it is. If that's the owner's manual in front of him, it must be pretty complicated. But men don't read those things anyway. They seem to already know how to use them.

A power purse, in case you're wondering is a Coach, Michael Kors, Louis Vuitton and the like. THESE are the kind of tools that women agree men should put their names on. 

One interesting thing to keep in mind: Power tools and power purses are actually similar in cost. Which one is worth the expense? You decide. Personally, I don't think either one is. 

I prefer to buy an average purse. The kind that's small, but roomy, lightweight, and looks good on. Yes, gentlemen, we try our purses on, just like our shoes. 

Speaking of shoes, notice how hers match her purse? I'll bet she searched all day for those. I don't know one man who would search all day for the perfect tool to match his truck. 

Tune in tomorrow, when I'll discuss those shoes...and trucks.


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